For the past decades I have answered the call and served in Prayer Room ministries. Prayer—is one of my ministries. I realize that many folks have experienced people who have said, “I will be praying for you” when in actuality the offer to pray gets buried under their best intentions. You can feel confident that if you submit an anonymous prayer request through this site: my word is my bond and you will be prayed for. Due to the volume of the prayer requests and the nature of the internet I will not be able to dialogue regarding your prayer request but you can rest assured that I will intercede for you. It’s important to have a support system at all times but even more so when you are embarking on a season of multiple changes. Prayerful support will strengthen your journey to go forward, make the healthy changes that you must make and prayer will empower you to heal. We are all called to pray to God and to seek His Wisdom—it’s not a suggestion in the Bible—we are commanded to pray.
‘Call to Me, and I will answer you, and show you great and mighty things, which you do not know.’ Jeremiah 33:3
If you feel uncomfortable submitting an anonymous Prayer Request, asking for intercessory prayer; then call out to Christ and ask for Him to intercede on your behalf as He has promised to do so in His Word (the Bible). Regardless of how you approach prayer I would be remiss if I didn’t have a little visit with you about the meaning, purposes, and benefits of prayer. Prayer is not a ritualistic act it is indisputably a conversation with God. No garments or objects nor whistles and bells are required to come before God’s throne in prayer—just come as you are—and take time to talk to Him.
Spending time with God is the ultimate act of faith. God is ever-present 24/7 always available and waiting for you to take the time to accept His embracing Arms as He holds you and offers you His compassionate love, comfort, and healing of your brokenness. All too often humans allow life happenings to take over. Although we desperately need time with God it can be lost in favor of our never ending to-do-lists. It’s important to be responsible especially when others are relying on our accountability, after all each of us has to function responsibly, correct? But, it is equally essential for us to take charge of our personal lives as well; and there is not a more important purpose filled life transforming event than having an intimate relationship with God and spending time with Him. Time with God provides life-changing far reaching prayer results and along the way we receive His grace, forgiveness, encouragement, guidance and direction. We need to be functionally responsible, but, we also need to be personally responsible for our life decisions which will impact our self and influence others. Prayer directs our decision-making processes and choices—instead of when life happens—life dictates our choices.
When you’re undergoing unsurmountable stressors how do you manage and battle that traumatic stress? Are you able to rest, feel relaxed and sleep well at night when you feel afraid and unsafe? Most likely you will experience insomnia because traumatic stress produces physical symptoms. When your mind experiences stress or worry your heart rate and blood pressure will rise resulting in potential flooding in your brain which can lead to the brain not thinking clearly (brain fog). This mind pressure can make you feel jittery and may cause headaches and/or irritable stomach. One of the mindfulness exercises that we review in Overcoming Abuse Volume II to combat severe stress is taking a few moments to close your eyes and to take intentional abdominal breaths. As you take deep breaths, visualize infilling yourself with God’s love and peace. You will sense a relief in the pressure on your chest as your lungs receive not just oxygen but a relaxing peace that will settle down to other parts of your body. While you breathe out visualize that you are exhaling your abuse stressors. Repeat this breathing and visualization technique until your mind and body calm down. A simple prayer may be added to this exercise as it magnifies God’s existence and your grounding in His Presence and Peace.
“I will both lie down in peace, and sleep; For You alone, O LORD, make me dwell in safety.” Psalm 4:8
The Bible says, “Continue earnestly in prayer, being vigilant in it with thanksgiving.” Colossians 4:2 but, how does a victim of abuse do that, consistently? How do you focus on praying when nothing seems worthy of praise and thanksgiving? Sure you remember to thank God when you have a respite from the abuse and things are intermittently going well but it’s difficult to pray when the suffering engulfs your heart. In comes God—precisely at that time because He is not just God—He is your friend. Christ knows what’s going on with you at all times but He still waits for you to come to Him in prayer. Talk to Him! “No longer do I call you servants, for a servant does not know what his master is doing; but I have called you friends.” John 15:15 The more you disclose to Him the more that your heart will open up to receive His Presence and Peace in your days.
Pour out your heart to Him, but also be sure to concentrate and listen to Him because if all your time is spent talking it will be a one way conversation. If you’re not listening for His guidance you may miss what God wants to talk to you about. He may want to reassure you of His love and presence or other characteristics. He wants to get to know you better but wants you to get to know Him as well. Prayer includes being still and paying attention. How does God speak to us? His Word says that He speaks to us in a still voice; God speaks to us in mysterious ways because His ways are not like ours. God may nudge you to connect with certain people (even strangers and unbelievers that have a skill set) who may guide you through Him, and provide answers to some of your challenges. He may lead you to specific Bible verses that will instruct you on your next steps or provide an uplift of joy despite your current circumstances. Through prayer God has a way of opening our minds and relieving our fears, even in the midst of crisis; and then we are able to clearly see our path before us. He will be present to direct you forward or away from choices that are not in His healthy plan for your life. Today is a good day to spend time in prayer with Him breathing in His Presence and goodness and listening for His still voice of direction.
“Have I not commanded you? Be strong and of good courage; do not be afraid, nor be dismayed, for the LORD your God is with you wherever you go.” Joshua 1:9
I realize during traumatic moments God can feel distant and you may be overloaded yet you pray fervently. You may even begin to think that He’s not listening because it appears as if He’s saying “no” to your prayer requests. God listens 24/7; furthermore, He promised He would never leave you nor forsake you. So, by faith you must believe patiently that He has heard your prayers and that He has not abandoned you. If God feels silent or distant fall back on those times where you have memories of His blessings and how He came through for you to work everything out for your good—even when you had to wait for His perfect timing. This is a great time to use His Scriptural promises as affirmations. Vocalize verses you can repeat internally and externally for reassurance that He will reply to your prayers. Hide those verses (affirmations) in your heart, so you can lean into them in times of emotional drought. You will feel an immediate elevated strength to carry on, as His Word is power-full and a prescription for your soul. “The LORD will guide you continually, And satisfy your soul in drought, And strengthen your bones.” Isaiah 58:11
Most of your thoughts live within your brain, so work to ascertain that your brain is a good and happy place. Your voice is the most frequent and loudest that your brain listens to. How you talk to yourself—whether internally or externally directly correlate with your emotional well-being. Select kind words to address your person. Make those beginning and end of day affirmations and spiritual memory verses ones that speak kindness to your soul. Christ speaks kindly to you. Christ reminds you that you are loved unconditionally, worthy, valued and accepted—just as He created you! What would you want to hear from others about you? Say it to yourself. What are you saying about yourself today?
Don’t simply study and hide Scriptural verses in your heart put those verses into proactive action! Live out those verses, receive His goodness but also share and distribute His goodness, prayers, and blessings to those around you. Helping others when you yourself are in need of help or prayer can be a reminder of putting our challenges into perspective as we recognize and empathize with others’ burdens. If you feel that you’re unable to pray for yourself begin by praying for others—ask others how you can pray for them—it is a divine privilege to be entrusted to pray for others. When you feel like you’re on empty, and that you don’t have anything to offer others use the gifts God has given you, including the gift of prayer. God gave you a set of gifts and He delights when you put those gifts to use because they fulfill His purposes for your life and that of others. You may be and/or feel isolated in your abusive relationship but His Love and Presence are unfailing. When you feel maxed out you may do as many people do when they reach out for anything to help relieve the pain. But God says that He doesn’t want you to idolize and worship other gods (things, vices, humans) because they won’t help to eliminate the problem. God is the Only One who can alleviate and remedy your problem, by offering His eternal emotional healing and lasting peace. The next time you feel desperate with your circumstances appearing hopeless, turn to God as first priority and quietly wait on Him through prayer as He provides protective factors (support from unexpected others and resources). Stand back at ease and watch how He directs you toward His proposed solutions and peaceful rest.
That’s right, hang out with God and learn from Him! Are you tired of carrying all of your heavy burdens all by yourself? Hand over all of your burdens to God in prayer, let go of your tight knuckles and instead grasp His loving grip. Allow God to carry all of your pain that feels like the weight of the world is upon your shoulders. There is no problem that is too big, impossible to solve or draining for God—He is God. Release it; give it to Him to carry and you rest in the lighter freedom of His Peace, like He has instructed you to do. “Are you tired? Worn out? Burned out on religion? Come to me. Get away with me and you’ll recover your life. I’ll show you how to take a real rest. Walk with me and work with me—watch how I do it. Learn the unforced rhythms of grace. I won’t lay anything heavy or ill-fitting on you. Keep company with me and you’ll learn to live freely and lightly.” Matthew 11:28-30 (The Message)
When you surrender your burdens to God in prayer you are divinely submitting to your heavenly Father’s care and protection. Christ knew this wise and prayerful approach. Remember His agony prayer in the Garden of Gethsemane right before His crucifixion? Christ used prayerful wisdom under His life threatening circumstances. He feared not, even when His path appeared unclear and painful. But, notice that He didn’t just lean into His heavenly Father’s comfort and Presence. Christ desired to hear from God what the next step was so He prayed all night long, listened, and returned with His Father’s wisdom to hand-pick His support system—His twelve disciple friends. (Yes, a couple of them betrayed Him, but nothing gets past Father God; they too were a part of the divine plan.) Choose wisely!
Needless to say, a quiet time in prayer with Father God is not an option but a necessity of daily living even if there’s no abuse involved. Not having a prayer time is your enemy. Perhaps you’re not experiencing abuse but a loved one is. If you don’t have a quiet time of prayer, perhaps today is the day that you would be willing to lay a little bit of time to invest in prayer for that loved one who needs prayer for her abuse. It can become laborious to even identify your own prayer needs that you didn’t even realize or recall that you had; because life gets busy and it’s difficult to hear God’s voice, guidance and direction when you’re constantly on the go, or too exhausted to utter a word of prayer. How about doing what Christ did while He walked the earth? Christ would take time out of His overstimulated environment, leave the thousands in the crowds; and withdraw into the wilderness to reflect and—pray. (You can go wherever your happy secluded place may be).
“So He Himself often withdrew into the wilderness and prayed.” Luke 5:16
In essence, what Christ modeled is not just prayer but how to set boundaries. Christ knew the importance of setting boundaries for the protection of our emotional health. Respectfully saying “no” to activities that do not align with the goal of getting healthy and abuse-free is the only way that you will recharge your energy: in order to say “yes” to the steps that truly matter, which will lead you to be set free from your abusive emotional and/or physical captivity.
Another enemy to a prayer life is continually carrying the burden of fear because it can wipe out your clear thinking and can lead you into a state of depression, as well as physical illnesses. Prayer helps to redirect you from being frightened to focusing on the good parts of your life. If you focus on the strengths and good possibilities in your life your spiritual, emotional, and physical being will be more balanced and your positive outlook will increase, limiting your dwelling on your fears. Sure, it’s important not to live in denial of your fears but starting and ending your day by intentionally recognizing with a spirit of gratitude what you do have as protective factors works toward feeling safe and secure; then you won’t allow your fears to run wild in your mind without resolution. It’s never guaranteed that you won’t feel frightened again but you can set your mind to use your gift of prayer and watch God show up and show you how He is conquering your fears! “For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind.” 2 Timothy 1:7
As you overcome your fears you will gradually notice that God is healing your broken heart all at the same time. That is why it’s so critical that you turn to God in prayer for His help in healing your helplessness, hopelessness and brokenness. “He heals the brokenhearted And binds up their wounds.” Psalm 147:3 No matter what you do to improve or rectify the problem of abuse it will not just go away because you are facing a problem that is completely out of your realm of control. Christ doesn’t want you to live a life of fear for your safety and with a broken heart. He wants you to live your life abundantly. That is why it becomes pivotal that you pray and ask God to step in and take good care of you. “Casting all your care upon Him, for He cares for you.” 1 Peter 5:7 He will never let you down because that is why He came to this world for you, me, and all of His people.
“I have come that they may have life, and that they may have it more abundantly.” John 10:10
Let’s talk about praying for forgiveness. Forgiveness is the foundation of Christ and Christianity, and, also a crucial part of healing. Abuse can be forgiven. When we store resentment, grudges, anger, shame, hurt, guilt and troubling emotions toward ourselves or others it will internally poison us and others. If you’re holding on to an unforgiving spirit then pray for God to work through your feelings in productive ways because this will naturally cause a person to forgive self and others. When you forgive you are not only preventing the poisoning of others; but you’re also purifying your own self from an unforgiving spirit. It is okay if you only received a superficial “I’m sorry” or you did not receive an apology at all from the person who hurt you. If you’re the one that must apologize, you don’t have to apologize to them face-to-face; for safety and inner peace, ask Christ (God) to forgive you. You can forgive an abuser without being one-on-one with them. Forgiveness doesn’t mean you are giving your abuser the right to be abusive again. It means that you have processed the abuse and emotional feelings that you used to feel but have elected to let go of those destructive thoughts and feelings. This then allows you to set firm boundaries and to receive internal freedom and healing. Forgiveness releases you from the bondage of unproductive feelings so you can move forward to live your abundant life peacefully. Pray that you are able and willing to forgive.
God is listening. He hears your every cry and prayer “I waited patiently for the LORD; And He inclined to me, And heard my cry.” Psalm 40:1 If your abusive situation escalates and you feel an emotional tsunami coming, turn to God in prayer for comfort. During or after praying you may want to physically sooth yourself through the comfort of a weighted or warm blanket. Read or do something leisurely that will calm your spirit. You know what comfort looks like to you, do whatever is healthy that will restore your emotional equilibrium. “In the multitude of my anxieties within me, Your comforts delight my soul.” Psalm 94:19 For the record, it is perfectly okay to cry. When we weep, we allow our body to experience our deep feelings which then leads to a catharsis that releases our body from the flooding of our emotions. We must not bury our yearning to cry because it does not improve our mental health to do so. It is strength of wisdom to have insight into your feelings of hurt and the need to cry. Crying is a healthy way of dealing with your emotions and releasing unproductive ones. Weeping recovers our emotions from falling into despair. Even Christ expressed His emotions and wept openly.
“Jesus wept.” John 11:35
The beauty of giving you permission to cry is: that crying like with any other emotion is guided by our thoughts and we can learn to have control of our thoughts. We can teach ourselves to allow some thoughts or not to allow our thoughts to control our minds and attitudes. This is difficult but doable through the power of prayer. It is when you place your mind on things that you’re unable to have control over, that you subject yourself to despair. If you choose to think only on the things that you do have control over; you will experience a calmer mindset and empower yourself to manage your feelings. For example, focusing on God and prayer invites the opportunity for you to control your thoughts and to be infilled with His grace, forgiveness, love, comfort, encouragement, hope, and peace.
A life that’s built on the foundation of prayer is a life well-lived. If you practice praying regularly you will renew your vitality daily. You will discover that your life will become curated and more aligned with what God has planned for your life from the day He Created you. Prayer will develop your connection with God which will result in a life steeped with His beloved care and protection for yourself and your significant others. It is an abundant life that details the story of your life that He and you are creating. No one deserves to be abused. You are made to live the life that you deserve and were made for. Be the co-author of your own life story; do not allow your abuser or anyone else to write your story. You can win this battle of abuse by going to the frontline, arm in arm with God. He is always available to help you through whatever the circumstances. But you’re better prepared for war if you take your prayer armor with you—guaranteed you will bounce back unscathed.
“Blessed be the LORD my Rock, Who trains my hands for war, And my fingers for battle.” Psalm 144:1
With God as your Commander-in-Chief You will overcome your abuse! Our cultural society will invariably be tantalizing you to make abuse choices based on the status quo or whatever the trend is for that season. With the gift of free will we do have a choice on who writes our story. Again, choose to write your own story. Cues are available from society or we can choose to follow the life instructions from the God Who Created us. No amount of prayer will do if you’re constantly at odds between God’s will for your life and what the world prescribes. If you choose to follow God’s will for you to live a prayerful life of peace then you will have an opportunity to write a story that will fulfill His purposes for your life and His purposes for others’ lives. Overcoming your abuse is not self-serving. When you are at peace, you are better able to do what He has called you to do in His plans for your life and for His people in society—His Kingdom. Overcoming your abuse is an ongoing mental well-being choice and it is the best way to serve Him and others. Consider your life and that of others’ lives—make a prayerful choice.
For where two or three gather in My Name I am with them. Matthew 18:20
All Scripture verses quoted are from the Holy Bible New King James version unless otherwise quoted. Copyright © 2020 by Reina Davison. All rights reserved. No part of this website publication may be reproduced, distributed or transmitted in any form or by any means, including photocopying, recording, or other electronic or mechanical methods, without the prior written permission of the author.
My mission is to provide information, strategies, and resources for those whose safety is threatened and who are experiencing the trauma of abuse and who would like to heal and overcome their abuse as well as empower the victim and society to prevent abuse from being passed on through the generations.
But I cry to you for help, Lord; in the morning my prayer comes before you. Psalm 88:13
